My problemS

                Everyone has their own problems in this world today. Nobody has a perfect life. If you say you do you are huge liars! Some problems are worse than others and everyone is entitled to feel that they have the worst at this point. I am going through some crazy ass shit right now but I try to see positive to keep me going. I have MS, I have 2 beautiful and healthy boys that make me smile; I have to use a walker, I got a brand new set of wheels. See what I did there??? I really try very hard not to be negative, but it isn’t easy as I’m sure most of you know.

                I also try to be a good mother, wife, sister, daughter, niece, and friend to everyone. My ear is always here to listen and give advice. If you are not going to take it then please do not waste my time. I believe everyone is put in and out of your life for a reason. It is a constant revolving door of people lately. I have come to a conclusion that God thinks I am Atlas, strong enough to deal with tons of shit in my life and everyone else’s problems. Just call me Dear Abby. I am so stressed and so weighed down I think that might be the reason I am not getting any better, the world is heavy man.

                So we all know my issues that have been ongoing blah blah blah. Now I have a new toy, my walker that comes in a million pieces. Not good for a person who can barely hold a utensil. When in doubt call daddy! It took me forever to start using my cane everyday and now this. I am convinced this is more than Multiple Sclerosis. No new or active lesions for two years yet my legs, arms, and back are deteriorating. I am embarrassed to use the walker. I feel like people look at me with the cane and make comments now; oh look at the fat ass that needs to use the walker because she doesn’t want to lose weight. Trust me so far from the truth. Yes I am over weight but I’m not 400lbs like I make it sound, I exaggerate for effect. If I could walk on my own without stumbling like a drunken sailor or falling like a new born bambi I would be at the gym and looking hot. Those who know what I look like you all know I would be a knock out if I was skinny. Anyway there is also my issue of needing to find a cheaper place to live because I cannot work and social security is a joke. So these are my problems right now, yesterday, today and till God only know when. I try not to dwell on it and hide my stress very well because this is the hand I have been dealt and crying, screaming, eating, getting depressed is not going to change that hand. I found an outlet and it is my writing. I don’t like to speak to anyone really id rather write it down that way I can talk to everyone at once. Everyone has problems, some worse than others. These are mine and they are the worst to me at this time and that is what occupies my head. So I apologize to everyone I am not giving a shit to it’s nothing personal, I’m just trying to keep myself from being crippled too early in life and out of the poor house.