Sorry not Sorry

     Spring it’s the time of year everybody’s waiting for. Today’s going to be upwards of 70° I’m not happy about it. I can’t enjoy the spring and or the summer. The nice weather just reminds me how restricted I truly am. Not only am I stuck in the house by myself but I can’t even get to a window to look outside and enjoy the nice weather. Getting me out of the house is a project for two people. I may have a wheelchair ramp, I may have a scooter, A chair lift and a wheelchair but I am still unable to leave my house on my own. The 100lb ramp has to be put up by someone, then the chair or scooter brought up to the door and finally someone to help move me from one spot to another.While I am so incredibly greatful forall of this it still does not give me much independence.
     Everyone is telling how beautiful it is today.to them I say that’s nice enjoy it. Today I am so sad and meloncoly because it’s so nice. I’m sorry to be so depressing but it really because this is the reality I have been give . MS is horrible. It steals your life no matter how hard you fight against it! We all know that I have been fighting it every miserable step of  the way. I’m sorry but I’ve reached a point where it is beyond hard to keep a positive outlook. I fake it to make it! My kids are my literal reason for living! I’m sorry if you think I do t show up because I don’t want to but the reality is if I’m home alone I can’t. I need adult supervision. I also want to explain the physical toll going to one event takes on me. One day out and I am in bed for two.
     Today is beautiful and I am sitting here alone crying because I miss it. So to everyone who can please enjoy this beautiful day for me!