Hello friends. I know it's been about 5 months since you've heard from me last, but like I stated in my last post no sense in complaining about the same thing over and over. So since then I have taken a few gravity checks; one of them pretty major. I fell in the shower and hit my beautiful face on the faucet and cut just under my lip. Along with the cut came a bruised jaw, collar bone, ribs shoulder arm and abdomen. Nothing broken thank God except my spirit a little. A small scar under my lip is all that remains and my vanity makes me the only one bothered by it. Oh well. We have discovered new cervical lessons as well. On the up side I have finally started back on medication, Gilenya.
I started it with high hopes of having some slight repair of my new friends in my neck, so far zilch. I did however start feeling a little better. My spirits were high, I was out and about more. It could be the meds, summer, or mind over matter. Either way it was good. Que the ampyra. A symptom specific drug that I tried with Copaxone 3 years ago and had no luck with. Guess what? No luck this time either. I have been getting migraines, worsening numbness in the left hand after it was subsiding and now in the right hand too. Monday it hit me like a ton of bricks, this all started around the time I started taking the ampyra. Let's look up the side effects shall we? Side effects may include: headaches check, numbness check, balance issues check. Those were the first three listed and the three major issues I have so I stopped it. No point in taking another pill if it's not helping so goodbye to Ampyra I say. I also said good bye to quite a few loved ones as well.
"Poppy" Joe my Aunts father passed in March after living a long wonderful life and going through a hard struggle to remember it at the end. A man I would consider my own grandfather with the fondest of memories. I also mourned my Godfather's mother Rose passing also after living a long loving life. She was a connection to my grandmother that I never got to know with all her stories. The world lost a terrific actor/comedian and one of my favorite funny men with the tragic death of Robin Williams. But by far the one loss that I am taking the hardest and still trying to cope with is the death of my best friend...Sean. It was a 14 year friendship of ups and downs, goods and bads, ins and outs but we always remained close, like his mother would call us Bert and Ernie. A life taken too young with no answers. I loved and will miss every one of them.
In having to deal with all this death, it makes you question your own mortality especially being sick. So far everything I have "predicted" about my MS has been on point whether my family and friends like it or not. I know my body and live with this everyday. I can diagnose myself better than y buddy Dr. Howard most times. Why? He doesn't have MS either so he only knows what research tells him. I know that I am completely dependent on my walker now, I also know I have extremely limited use of my left hand and it hates to hold things, I know my right hand is jealous and wants in on the fun, I know that I am a horrible insomniac, I also know that my memory has gotten very bad and the Dr. Should have done a brain scan when we did the cervical. Bet you he tells me this month he thinks I should have one. That's when I hold back from slapping him. So I hope you have enjoyed our little chat. I would say goodnight but it's only 3:25 A.M. and I am not tired yet. So see ya!
