A Mother's Strength

               Everyone tells me how strong and brave they think I am for dealing with my disease as well as I do. How do you do it? I have no choice I have kids to take care of. Like I said before, I am very good at hiding the pain and feelings. I have to say though I didn’t become strong from the MS, I was taught how to be strong from the best teacher on earth…my mother.

                I grew up as any normal child with three siblings and two parents. My father worked and my mother stayed home and took care of us, the house, the cooking, shopping, etc. Like any normal mother. She then went to work and still was able to do it all. Later in life my mother had her struggles a heart attack, triple bypass, breast cancer, 2 stents after bypass, diabetic. Through it all and after recovery she stayed strong and went back to her everyday affairs not letting us see how she really feels. She had no choice, she had children to raise. I am older now and now I see her weakness and worries cause being a mother I have to hide it like she did so I see through her now.

                My mother and every mother I know draws strength from what makes them a mother…our children. The love one feels for their children is beyond words, especially in my case. My Dr. tells me time and time again how he is surprised it took this long for me to get to the point I’m at now. It is solely because of my boys. My strength comes from them. I have to take care of them I have no choice. If I had no children I wouldn’t fight like I do. So when you tell me how strong I am I thank you but most of all I thank my mother for teaching me. I love you Mom xoxoxo.

My friendS II

                I would like to start off by wishing everyone a very late happy holidays and happy new year. The holidays were nice and quiet this year even though the entire family was sick. We made the best of it though, as long as my kids were happy that’s all that matters to me. As far as my MS the walker seems to be a permanent thing as well as the right leg weakness, limited foot movement and numb fingertips. All things that I have come to terms with. I am now home on permanent disability which relieves some stress, not having to worry about work.

                So as New Years approached everyone were posting their stories of 2013, what they were and are thankful for, and of course their resolutions for 2014 on Face book. I didn’t put anything up solely the rest of the world was. All the out with the old and in with the new and new year new you crap was all very eye rolling. Well I had a mini aha moment this week. It is all true. Plus if you feel positive and put that out into the universe you do receive it back.

                Here are my “resolutions and reflections” for the New Year. I am so forever grateful for my loving, supportive and helpful family who are there when I need them. I am also grateful for the new friends I have made this year through school. A truly genuine group of women who offer help and have been there when I need them. From strangers to beyond friends. They are there to help my kids in school when I can’t make it for an event. They are there to bring my kids home when I am unable to. They are there to help my mother and son walk on ice. They are especially there to make me laugh which always makes me feel great. It takes a special kind of person to befriend a cripple nutcase like me and become so fabulous and there for me when I do swallow my pride and ask for help. It also makes me happy that our children are all close friends with each other in their classes.

                Dealing with MS is hard on your own but when kids are involved it’s even harder. It warms my heart that besides my wonderful family I am able to depend on these handful of fabulous Great Kills moms. I truly appreciate everything you all have done for me, even the littlest things and hope that this year is the beginning of many to come. Out with the old and in with the new!