Hello friends, it’s been a while. A little too long I know.
I have been going through some major life issues.At my ripe old age of 33 I have gone through what seems like
a lifetime of stress in one year. My boys now 6 and 3 ½ are more rambunctious than
ever to say the least. My husband, at this time is still my husband although
there was a period where that was questionable. As for me, I am currently out
of work on disability and getting worse. I am also fighting my “critics” who do
not believe my illness exists. Now that we are all caught up on my life thus
far let me begin. My purpose of this blog was to educate and inform people
about Multiple Sclerosis from one person’s point of view.
I am going to repeat myself for all my skeptics out there,
every and I mean every case of MS is different. You can have 50 people with the
disease in front of you and not one of them will have the same as another. Sure
some people will have an issue or two in common but it still affects us all
differently. Ok now I will say even further to the ignorant people who continue
to remain that way, MS is nicknamed the “invisible” disease due to the fact
that the pain, weakness, numbness and so forth are internal. So to the dumb
asses that have recently told me I don’t look sick read up on your shit!
Let me break it down people. I am home all day ALONE taking
care of my kids while my husband works his butt off to make ends meet while I am
relapsing. Yes it is my first official relapse. I write my blog and post on FB
to vent and inform, not for sympathy. Trust me I don’t want it from the hypocrites
I know. Writing about my life helps me cope with my every day struggles with
MS. I wake up in the morning to get my oldest ready for school and half the
days I can’t move so my mother or sister takes him to school for me. After he
leaves I lay down for a little longer till the head to toe burning bone and
muscle pain subsides enough for me to stand for more than 60 seconds. I take
care of my youngest all day dressing him, entertaining him, making his daily
meals. While doing this I clean the kitchen, do the dishes, vacuum the house,
make beds, etc. I pick up my son from school, do homework, make dinner, clean
up some more and referee the two animals I have as sons. This is a typical day
for most stay home mothers and they will all tell you how difficult it is to do
at 100% health. Now let’s add a cane, 100lbs to each arm and leg, stiff neck
pain, spinal pain, weak hands, and incontinence and bowel issues. Welcome to my
world, it is a blast.
I very rarely call on anyone for help because I don’t like
to. I struggle just to stand up but I do this every day. When I do ask for help
you know it’s that bad. I am thankful and lucky to have the support system I do
with my husband, mother and sisters. They are always there when I do ask for
help. People always ask if I have help and I tell them it’s there when I need
it. The next question is usually how do you do it every day? My answer is I have
no choice I have two young children to take care of.
Now I’m not gonna lie I suffer more then I let on and lately
I have been letting it show more and more. I wake up and need my husband to
help me walk to the bathroom cause I have no feeling in my right leg. I walk
with the cane all the time now and it does nothing, next step is a walker cause
I cannot walk from the car into a store without crying inside. After going to
one store I need to go home and rest. Stairs are my enemy. I leave my house
when absolutely necessary simply because it takes too much mentally and
physically for me to do anything.
I welcome my newcomers into this current glimpse into my
life and welcome back my followers. To the skeptics and haters please don’t
bother with me anymore. If you cannot have half the brain to comprehend what
people with MS go through then you are not needed in my life.
