MS

               I have come to a conclusion that some people will always be blind to things no matter how much you show it to them. So where am I today? I am feeling so much more like my old self as I have been saying, but this doesn’t mean I am totally unaffected by symptoms of MS. I have said it numerous times, the one phrase that gets me is when someone says to me “but you look so good”. Thank you I know I do, I always have. LISTEN TO ME...just because I look it does not always mean I feel it. Let us not forget that MS is known as the “invisible disease”. I have come across some very ignorant people when it comes to this fact. They refuse to believe or open their eyes to this truth. Unfortunately I am stuck with a couple of them and I am not thrilled about it.

                Let me break it down for those people. I walk better, but I still cannot walk long distances at once anymore. I can write and type, but I am very slow at it now and it is difficult kind of like wearing boxing gloves while doing it. And yes although my Neurologist tells me how stunning my brain is there still are a few lesions and lots of them on my spine so this delays the signal to my brain telling it what to do. My short term memory is almost nonexistent. I have permanent tingling in both my hands. And let’s not even start on what stress does. Point is yes compared to three years ago I am doing fantastic, but I still have daily issues and I get tired easier now. I hide it all pretty well I think. I have no choice if I want to live a normal life. So now I say with these flaws I am not perfect nor am I a robot, nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes and if you are that special person who doesn’t then congratulations to you, that is not me.

                I know plenty of people living with MS that have these same issues. It is sad that there are still people that actually judge by what they see on the outside. Maybe if we wore a sign everyday to remind these narrow-minded individuals they might change their attitude, but not likely. I actually get vibes of jealousy from some people. Trust me if I could trade places with you I would. I would love to give up my pill regimen, daily, weekly or monthly injections, constant MRI’s blood work and doctor’s appointments. Still green with envy? How about taking those days of extreme weakness, pain and fatigue away from me. I will gladly give it up without remorse. So I reiterate, yes I am feeling well but I still have issues so please open your minds and take that into some consideration when forming your opinions.

reMiSsion!

               So I am in the shower before and totally upright this time and I was thinking to myself. I don’t want to say for fear of jinxing it but I have been feeling a lot better lately, almost like my old self. I said almost…I still have some issues but nothing compared to two and a half years ago. In October it will be three years since my official diagnosis of having MS. I have come a long way in that three year span.

                I have finally reached the point of acceptance with my disease. Yes I complain A LOT, but those of you that know me well know that I’m not happy unless I am complaining about something. That’s just me. I realized that instead of working against MS and being angry about it is worse than the disease itself. I am slowly making the necessary changes I need to feel good. It has been a long road physically and mentally to reach this point and I still have a long road ahead but I am willing to walk it every step of the way. It has been with the help and support of my family and friends that I am here now, like my sister making me walk all over the campus of our younger sister’s college instead of taking the bus around. Thank you. Of course my boys are a huge part of this also, I love you to death.

                I have been writing this blog for about two years now, its purpose has been to inform. I am giving people a very small glimpse into the world of MS. It is different for every person living with it. I try to look at my case with a bit of humor and think I have done well so far. I know now that this is my life from here on in and how I choose to deal with it is what will make the difference in how well I will live. So far I think I can say that I am in a true remission and I intend on staying this way for a long time. As I said I write to inform and entertain and I hope so far that you all feel I have done this. This is not a good buy blog I was just feeling inspired to write. T.T.F.N

Major Slip

           So as I say almost every time I write something that I only write when the bad stuff happens…and it’s mostly true. The whole point of this blog is to inform about Multiple Sclerosis. So here goes. MS is one of the most unpredictable diseases out there. It affects every person living with it differently. The majority of us very rarely show signs of our disease which always prompts my favorite phrase “but you look so good”. I hate it.  Anyway along with MS comes so much fear and uncertainty in your life, more than normal. One of my biggest fears is falling. I have fell numerous times already but none were that sever and I was able to catch myself…until today.

            Today I woke up around nine A.M. like any normal Sunday. I laid on the couch for a little watching my kids play and talking to my husband. I then went into my bedroom and rearranged my closet and drawers. Sounds thrilling so far don’t it? I went to take a shower around noon. I turned the water on and stepped in with my left foot and felt a little unsure of myself. I lifted my right foot over the tub to step in the shower fully. As I put my foot down it forgot what it was there for, support. My leg went out from under me and I slipped and fell. As I am going down I hit the left side of my face on the soap dish, twisted both my knees, ankles, and back then landed on the right side and slammed that part of my head and body on the edge of the tub.

            My biggest fear realized today. It was one of the scariest moments in my life. I had no major damage thank God. I do how ever have a few bruises on my head and face, a head ache, and I feel like I was hit by a Mac truck. I am thankful there was nothing broken and no major head injury. This is what I mean when I say how unpredictable MS is. I woke up and was fine and moving around without a problem and one tiny second beat the crap out of me today. After all was said and done I was able to walk down a few blocks to my mothers and back home again.