It’s been a while and I know everyone has missed me. I have had a horrible case of writers block. Probably a symptom of the MS since it seems EVERYTHING else is. Anyway quick catch up. I had a good holiday season, was able to cut my own food this year which is always a good thing. The last few months have been good for me MS wise, I have felt the best I have since I was diagnosed in 2009. I started working full time days, no weekends and not getting home close to midnight helps. I was under an immense amount of stress the last six months or so and its funny how that was the best I felt given the fact that stress makes symptoms worse. Buzz kill…now that my stresses are dwindling down to normal everyday stuff I am starting to feel like crap again.
I keep everyone posted on my current conditions because a lot of people are curious about MS. It definitely affects everyone who has it very differently. Lately it is affecting me mentally; I had a mini nervous breakdown the other night. I am very anxious lately and my thinking is very foggy. I literally forget what I am doing in the middle of doing it. I find myself getting confused very easily and staring off into space. I am starting to lose balance again and my legs have those pesky 50 lb weights on them again. We have something new...a constant it all over my body! This alone can make you go crazy. I have scratches and bruises all over from the constant scratching. I look lovely. This by far is the worst symptom I have experienced.
I have to say I have a huge support system with my family and friends and for that I thank you all. Although people seem to think I am so “strong” I am not Superwoman. I need a lot of help sometimes even though I don’t like to admit or ask for it. I do as much as I can myself till I hit the point of exhaustion. Today I had to do normal grown up things like clean the house and laundry all while being sick and having the physical MS issues that have reappeared. I cleaned out closets, vacuumed the house, cleaned the bathroom, and rearranged some things and laundry. So maybe everyone is right…I AM SUPERWOMAN. Hahaha just kidding. So this is where I am at now. Symptoms starting up again, new ones appearing and still dealing with everyday life like everyone else just with a few extras added in. I can honestly do without the extras though.
